3 Ways to Deepen Love and Relationships
While I can’t claim that I’ve perfected my relationships, I can say that every day I learn a little about how to be a better partner, lover, friend and daughter. Specifically in romantic relationships, sometimes it’s easy to forget to approach every situation with love. It’s easy to get mad, frustrated and sometimes even give up. To me, the key to a long lasting and healthy relationship relies on many things but I found that with these 3 “rules” or practices we can certainly start to approach difficult situations with our best foot forward.
Practicing Positive Projection
I first read this in a book somewhere, I can’t remember where. It really resonated with me because I am a highly sensitive person and can really take things to heart sometimes. It’s definitely tough, especially if you’ve been in past relationships where you’ve been hurt or disappointed. At times, our partner can say or do something that causes us to feel offended, we immediately feel attacked and think this person is trying to hurt us.
The truth is, it comes from that baggage, that old hurt, old pain and old patterns we’re carrying into our new relationships. What we know from psychology is that often, one partner says something to another and the second person will blow up the comment in their own mind. But when you look at the transcript, you realize they meant no offense. Infact, sometimes the person who is the angriest, can’t even remember what the other person said. They might be tired, distracted, or stressed; give them the patience and love they deserve.
The best thing we can do is project the positive qualities they have and assume the BEST in them.
Practice Deep Listening
We all know communication in a relationship is KEY; deep listening, is a huge component of that. The essence to being a better listener is to listen longer and deeper. To be present in the moment and allow your partner to vent. Sometimes we find ourselves trying to input our own opinion or fix a situation but we fail to really listen what’s going on. We often try to tell people how to feel, we cut them off or we try to one up the person with something that we’re thinking about. I first heard this concept when I was training to be a Life Coach. Deep listening was a skill we needed to learn to better help our clients find their own answers.
In arguments, the number one thing that happens is that both parties are so concerned with getting their point across, that they fail to listen to each other.
Deep listening is a VERY powerful tool and I think we could all use it when it comes to our relationships.
Approach everything with LOVE
Sometimes we approach situations with fear rather than love. We make assumptions, conclusions and create expectations without really analyzing what YOU are bringing to the table in the relationship.
I find that many people often ask so much from a relationship. They want more surprises, more romance, more love, more this and that. Instead, ask yourself, what have YOU been doing for your relationship, who are you being in this relationship? Are you loving, kind, respectful, sensual, playful? Think about what things you long for and how you can bring more of that into your relationship.
Ultimately, happiness in a relationship depends on the two people involved. My motto is that you cannot change who someone else is in the relationship, what they say and how they behave. What we do have control over is ourselves and our mindset.